Never Gave Up
by Rachel9
Summary: Spoilers for 7.22: "Chosen." Buffy and the army of potentials defeat the First, but not without a price. Five years later, Buffy is in for the surprise of her life when the man she thought dead turns up alive and kicking -- literally. B/S. Chapter 5 up!
1. Chapter 1

This is heavily based on all those spoilers floating around for the series finale. If you don't want to be spoiled, I'd suggest reading this story on May 21st. I'm not going by every spoiler that's out there, simply because this is the way I've somewhat pictured it in my head. I don't know how much of it's true or false, but this is sort of what I'd like to see. I hope you all enjoy…please leave a review and let me know what you thought -- unless you hated it, in which case I don't want to read anything :P

Thanks!

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Title: Never Gave Up

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Author: Rachel

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Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Joss Whedon, Marti Noxon, Twentieth Century Fox Productions, UPN, Sandollar Television, and Mutant Enemy own BtVS. No copyright infringements were intended. This is my story and not meant to copy the show. 

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Summary: MAJOR spoilers for 7.22: "Chosen." Buffy and the army of potentials defeat the First, but not without a price. Five years later, Buffy is in for the surprise of her life when the man she thought was dead turns up alive and kicking -- literally. B/S!

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Rating: PG-13. I'm pretty sure it'll stay that way.

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Spoilers: Heavy spoilers for the series finale, "Chosen" and season seven overall...let's just say Buffy and Spike's lengthy and complicated relationship that we all love and adore. 

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Distribution: The groups that I post on, my site, Sinister Attraction, and anyone else is fine with me, as long as you e-mail me before hand and let me know where it's going. 

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Feedback: Sure! TripleADayDreamer@comcast.net…constuctive criticism only…no flames

~*~*~*~

Caleb was finally defeated, leaving behind a very deadly scythe for Buffy to fight in the final battle with. Angel had come and gone, causing only more emotional problems between he and Buffy. And every known possible potential had arrived in Sunnydale by now.

At last, it had all come down to this. 

Final showdown.

Buffy, leading her army of hundreds of teenaged girls, along with Willow, Giles, Xander, Anya, Faith, Andrew, and Spike at her side, charged into battle against another army of equally, if not more, powerful Turok-Hans. 

But less than twenty minutes later, people were dying. 

Anya died, recklessly jumping in front of a Turok-Han to protect, of all the people there this night, Andrew. Rona was dead, killed by her own sword in the hands of the deadly Turok-Hans. But Buffy Summers couldn't dwell on what was happening around her right now; no, she would break down and have a good, long cry after this battle -- if she lived through it, anyway. 

Buffy had never fought a harder battle ever before in her history of being the Slayer, that much she knew. She would throw one of the uber-vamps (as they had come to be known as by the gang) off of her and barely have enough time to catch her breath before being attacked by another. 

And another.

And another one.

__

Dammit, they just keep on coming, Buffy thought, jumping up and over one of the vampire's swords before swinging her scythe around and chopping off it's head. _There must be a thousand of them here._

"Buffy! Duck!" she heard a voice cry out from somewhere within the fray.

Acting solely on instinct and trusting the voice she heard, Buffy bent down and swung back around in one fluid motion, raising her glimmering weapon and following through. A vampire was behind her, its dagger raised high in the air and preparing to strike when Buffy spun around.

After the vampire crumbled to dust before her, Buffy turned to see who had given her warning. Spike stood several yards away, looking at her amidst the sea of Turok-Hans separating them. Although standing a good distance away from each other, Buffy could clearly see the worry and concern in his cerulean eyes. She quickly nodded a "thanks" before climbing to her feet and running to help someone else, weapon in hand and ready to strike.

Dawn was standing with her back to Xander, the two of them fighting off a vampire on each side. "We're not winning!" Dawn screamed out to anyone who was listening. "This is hopeless!"

"Well, what else can we do?" Xander asked. "I'd rather go down fighting than give up completely." _And I will not think about Anya, _he thought to himself. He struggled, only having vision in his right eye as he swung his sword, but managed to beat back a couple of the oncoming vampires. 

Girls were running everywhere, helping their fellow slayers-in-training to the best of their ability. Faith led a group of potentials with Kennedy and Willow by her side, forcing their way to the center of the hellmouth. Willow used spell after spell to set up shields from the charging vampires. "B!" Faith yelled out. "Buffy! We've got a path to the hellmouth!"

"Who has the amulet?" Kennedy shouted next, before thrusting her sword into the belly of some unknown demon standing in front of her. 

Buffy, who didn't hear Kennedy's cry over the growling and howling vampires, forced her way over to Spike's side, helping him battle a few of the vampires. "Are you okay?" she asked through the fight.

"Never better, love," Spike answered her assuredly. 

There was a lull in the battle as Buffy and Spike paused to finally catch their breath. Buffy looked around at the scene surrounding her, her eyes wide with terror, fear, and worst of all...helplessness. She turned to the blonde vampire, apprehension clearly written on her face. 

"Spike, this isn't working," she admitted. "We weren't ready. There was no way we could have been ready for this battle, even with a thousand potentials."

Spike looked around, gasping for breath even though it was unnecessary. "We still have a chance, Buffy." Then, he lifted the amulet that hung around his neck. "We have this."

Buffy sighed, wiping a thin layer of sweat off her forehead. "What good is that, Spike? You don't even know how to use it."

With that, Spike tilted his head to the side, deep in thought. "That's where you are mistaken, pet." He said, before turning on his heel and beginning to run towards Faith, Willow, and Kennedy, who were rapidly approaching the entrance to hell.   


"Spike!" Buffy cried out, sprinting up closer towards him. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I've got a bloody idea!" he answered back. 

Buffy caught up to Spike as he ran past the group of potentials and the gang. "Will! Faith! Watch our backs," she ordered, pausing for a moment in front of the gang. "Keep all of the vampires out of here. Spike says he has a plan…something to do with the amulet."

"All right, Buffy," Willow agreed. 

"Watch your back, too, B," Faith warned. She nodded towards the entrance in front of her, asking, "You sure you'll be okay in there?"

Buffy nodded. "Five by five," she replied with a smirk directed towards the brown-haired slayer. "If anything happens and...and Spike and I aren't out in ten minutes, get out. Get on those buses that are over there and get everyone out of this town that you can."

"But Buffy--"

"Don't worry about us," Buffy repeated. "That's an order."

Buffy could see Willow bite her upper lip, wanting to argue but knowing it was better not to. "You've got it, Buffy."

With that, Buffy turned and ran into the school, running towards the basement and following the steady beat of sprinting footsteps several yards ahead of her. 

"Spike!" She caught up to him as he stood over the Seal of Danzalthar where the first uber-vamp had ever come out of. "Spike, what are you doing?"

Spike stood with the amulet in his hand as he gazed down at the circle. "When you were...after Dawnie and everyone kicked you out and before I left to go searching for you, Red told me a spell...if we ever found the amulet, we could use it to destroy all the vampires and the First."

"What?" Buffy gasped. "Then use it."

"Only one catch," Spike began, smirking. _There's always a bloody catch, _he quickly thought. "It's sunlight that'll come out of this bloody thing. And I'm the one bloke here that can start it."

Buffy paled, realizing what Spike was telling her. "No," she whispered. She shook her head back and forth, repeating the word, "No!" this time louder and more forceful. "We'll find another way, Spike."

"It *is* the only way," Spike insisted. "Remember, love? I told you that I always knew I'd go down fightin'." He quickly gathered up his courage and raised his hand, running it gently down the side of her face.

Buffy leaned into his touch, momentarily closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, slowly exhaling. _We never get to rest, do we? _she thought. "Spike..."

"Get out of here, love."

Buffy shook her head. "No. I'm not going anywhere."

Spike placed the amulet around his neck, near his heart and where he received his soul, and began speaking. 

"Gods, I do summon thee

Do my will, 

I command this of you.

With this soul, within this vessel,

I beseech you,

Reset the balance

Close this threshold!"

As Spike spoke the last words, a sudden bright light burst out of the center of the amulet. The light raced past Buffy, who spun around and watched it flow down the hallway and out the doors. _The Turok-Hans... _she thought. 

"Buffy!" Willow's voice unexpectedly echoed inside of Spike and Buffy's head. "The vampires are gone! Whatever Spike did must have worked." 

Buffy spun around and shakily smiled at Spike. "You did it," she whispered. 

Spike, who was barely able to stand on his feet, leaned against the wall to support himself, grabbing the amulet and pressing it to his chest. "Knew this plan would work," he muttered. 

Suddenly, the earth beneath them began to rumble. The Seal on the floor lit up, momentarily blinding the couple. Then, the building began shaking, sending shelves, crates, and everything else around them, to the ground. Buffy and Spike steadied themselves until the quaking stopped.

"Buffy!" Willow called out again telepathically. Only this time, it was more frantic…more worried for her best friend's safety and life. "Buffy! Everything is collapsing, the whole town is going to collapse right under our feet if we don't get out *now*!"

Buffy's head instantly whirled to Spike, tears beginning to drip down the side of her face. "I can't leave you," she whispered. "I -- I can't." Buffy stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around him, not caring about the consequences. "I just can't." She placed her hands on the side of his face, looking into his eyes…wanting to memorize every plane and curve of his handsome features. 

"You need to, pet," Spike told her. He grabbed his chest, groaning, as he felt waves of pain running through his body. He knew this was a suicide mission, but he had been willing to take the risk. Knowing Buffy and the gang would live through it was all he needed. 

"This is your chance," Spike suggested. "Get out of Sunnyhell, live that normal life with a backyard and a white picket fence." He sent her a watery and shaky smile at that last part. 

"But I--"

"Please, Buffy, just go. For me," Spike insisted.

Buffy pressed her body up against his before leaning in and smashing her lips against his. Placing all of her feelings that she felt for him in her now-breaking heart, and as much emotion as possible in this last moment between the two, she kissed him like it would be her last -- which she knew it would. She sniffed and wiped he tears away from her eyes to get one, last, clear look at him. "I need to tell you, Spike.…..I never got the chance to tell you, with every…Spike, I need to tell you that...I love you."

Spike's eyes widened for a second before he slowly smiled...a sad and regretful smile. "You don't need to tell me something like that just because I'm the one saving the world," he explained, not believing what she was saying. 

Buffy forcefully shook her head. "No, Spike…I mean it." _How can you look into my eyes and not believe me?_

Spike nodded and leaned forward to kiss her once again. "Get out of here, Slayer." he said, pushing her away and falling to his knees. 

"I love you," she repeated, pressing a hard kiss on his cheek. Buffy turned and began running, her vision blurring from the salt water streaming down her cheeks. _I shouldn't have left him, _she thought. 

Buffy ran through the doors to the outside and looked around. The ground was littered with broken weapons, dust, bodies, and in the parking lot, three buses were beginning to speed away from the Hellmouth. Willow stood in the doorway of one of the busses, motioning for Buffy to catch up.

Pausing, Buffy took a second to look back at the school building where she knew Spike still remained. She watched as light began filtering out through every window and the walls begin to crumble, cracking and collapsing to the ground. "Good bye," she whispered, before spinning around and running towards the bus that Willow and the gang were on.

"Are we okay?" Buffy asked, once on board.

The original gang and several of the more well-known potentials slowly nodded. Buffy gazed around, taking a mental count of everyone that was injured and wounded. 

Dawn gazed through the window, looking back at her high school with a confused look on her face. "Where's...where's Spike?"

Buffy's brave face faltered and she slowly shook her head. "He...he didn't make it."

"Blondie didn't make it?" Faith asked, not fully believing. "Damn."

"Yeah..." Buffy whispered. "Damn is right." _More like an understatement_, Buffy thought._ Spike is…no, I will not cry. I will *not* cry in front of them._

She paused, taking a second to collect herself and swear once more that she wouldn't cry in front of her friends. "Okay, we'll stop at the first non-apocalyptic spot we see," she suggested. 

Buffy began walking to the back of the bus to get away from her family. She passed Giles, who reached out and lightly squeezed her shoulder. She looked up at him…tried to smile, but failed. When he looked as though he was going to say something, she held up her hand, pleading with her eyes to not speak a word. 

Finally at the back of the bus, Buffy collapsed into one of the plush seats and burst into tears. She didn't know whether to be happy or sad. The world had been saved -- the hellmouth was permanently closed. But at the cost of losing Spike, Buffy wasn't so sure it was worth it.

With tears openly running down her face, Buffy looked back at the town she had called home for the last seven years of her life. _The world is safe now, _she thought. _But this time for good. Once again, another apocalypse averted…my last one I'll ever stop. _She faced forward and gazed at the girls sitting on the bus in front of her and then the two buses that were traveling in front of the one she was on. _The world will be safe now, I'm not fighting alone anymore. _

Almost everything was perfect...almost.

Buffy leaned her head against the glass wall and let out a sob. "Spike," she whispered through her sobs. "Whether you believed me or not, I'll love you, *always*."

~*~*~*~

All he could feel was pain. 

All he saw was blackness. 

But what he heard? 

Instead of silence, he heard a steady _thump, thump....thump, thump..._

He extended his hands, stretching for something…*anything* to grab onto and pull himself up. He exerted himself until he thought he might give up and quit. _But I've got to get to *her*, _he told himself. _I can't stop moving until I get to Buffy. I'm never giving up until I get back to her._

Her last words echoed in his mind, giving him the motivation to continue pushing his way towards what he hoped would be freedom.

"_I love you…"_

Finally, after trying several times, a hand shot out of the pile of rubble, reaching towards the heavens. Spike pulled himself up on his knees, shoving the rocks and debris away from his body and trying to stand on his feet. 

And that's when it happened. 

He took a breath of fresh air for the first time in over 130 years. 

"Bloody hell," he cursed. "I'm alive." 

~~~

TBC.

Well, there was my take on the end. Now it's just whatever I want to happen. I hope you all liked the first part. I'm a little rusty (haven't written anything in a while) but hopefully it wasn't too bad!


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for all the great feedback! WOW, I never expected such a huge response from that first part, but I'm really glad that you all are enjoying it...just stick with me b/c now I have no idea what I'm doing! ;)

Oh, and keep in mind that I am not using a beta-reader, so mistakes are my fault. If I need it I'll get one later on in the story. Also, I'm not saying when the next part will be out because I don't want to give myself a deadline and rush and then not make the date. So just keep an eye out for me, or if you want to be notified of an update, e-mail me. 

This part has heavy spoilers for "Touched." I'm sure my take on this certain scene will pale drastically in comparison to what the actual show will have Tuesday, but...I figured, hey, I can just have my own take on everything. :P

Never Gave Up

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By: Rachel

See Part One for all the author notes. The part in bold is a flashback.

~*~*~*~

__

Has it really been less than a day since we managed to defeat the First? Buffy asked herself, rolling her neck back and forth to get the kinks out of it as she sat upright in the plush seat. The group of buses had sped out of Sunnydale as quickly as possible, only making one stop to refuel up the gas tanks before continuing the journey. After a short, and to the point talk at the gas station, Buffy and the core members of the gang decided that it would be a good idea to reach the California borderline before deciding what to do next. Their mutual feeling was to get as far away from Sunnydale as possible right now.

That gave everyone on the bus about four hours to rest up, calm down from the battle, and think back to everything and everyone they had lost. 

It was a very dreary ride. 

There was little conversation; little movement; little interaction between anyone. 

Everyone was either too tired from the battle or too busy trying to forget what they had witnessed. 

As Buffy sat in her seat at the back of the bus, she reflected on her feelings for what seemed like the millionth time that day. She felt...

Bittersweet. 

Buffy was incredibly proud of her army for pulling through; and more importantly, blissfully happy that they had averted, yet again, another apocalypse and lived to tell the tale. 

And yet...deep down in there somewhere, there was another part of her that was heavyhearted and emotionally destroyed. And she knew that part of her was because of Spike. _I was stupid, _she told herself, shaking her head in regret. _I was too afraid of telling him my feelings, so I hid them the entire time. And when I finally got up enough courage to actually tell him, he didn't believe me. _

Can't say I really blame him, though. 

"Hey," a soft, calming voice began, breaking Buffy away from her thoughts.

Buffy turned to the voice and smiled when she saw her red-headed friend leaning over the back of the seat in front of her. "Hey, Will," she answered, before covering her mouth with her hand as she yawned.

Willow's eyes darted back and forth, not knowing how to begin. "How are you holding up?"

Buffy shrugged, managing to hide any emotion from appearing on her face. "Fine, I guess."

"Buffy..." Willow started, knowing when her friend was hiding something from her.

"What do you want me to say, Willow?" Buffy questioned. "Here we are, a bunch of homeless, under-aged, lost girls...no place to go, nothing to do. We defeated the First...so what next?"

"Do you want to talk about what happened there?" Willow suggested. "Maybe it'd be better if you talked to someone about it."

When Buffy's head lowered, trying to signal that the conversation was now over, Willow tried again. "Look, I just wanted to come back here to let you know that we're about thirty minutes from a rest stop. Xander, Faith, Dawn, and I figured we could all sit down and decide what to do next."

Buffy nodded, "Sounds like a good plan," she replied. She leaned back, turning her head away from the Wiccan. "You'll let me know when we get there, right?"

"Sure, Buffy," Willow assured her, turning around and heading up to the front of the bus.

"How is she?" Xander asked, worry evident on his features, as he looked to the back of the bus. 

Willow shook her head, sighing, as she sat back down. "I don't know...She seems okay, but...there's just something..."

"Missing?" Dawn suggested. 

"Yeah," Willow agreed. "Like..."

"Like Spike," Faith blurted out. At the looks from the other three, she held up her hands defensively, shaking her head a couple times back and forth. "Oh, c'mon, it's what we're all thinking, 's just that no one here wants to be the one to actually say it."

"Has she said anything about what Spike did? About what happened?" Dawn asked Willow. 

"Why he didn't make it out?" Faith questioned. 

"Not a word," she answered. "She's just staring out the window...an empty, sad stare."

Twenty seat-rows away, Buffy closed her eyes, listening to the murmur of her concerned and worried friends. She knew they were merely distressed and only wanted what was best for her. 

But they would never know what it truly felt like. 

To lose not one, but *two* lovers, because their death meant saving the world and averting the apocalypse, and have to go on living your life -- no one should ever have to feel what that was like. However, Angel came back. He wasn't gone for good, and he was currently in LA, still fighting the good fight. He was still _alive. _

But Spike *was* gone for good. Even if, for some miraculous reason the sunlight from the amulet had not destroyed him, the collapsed building had for sure. 

__

And this time, he's not coming back, Buffy thought to herself, feeling her heart tighten at the very thought. 

She wrapped her hands tighter around her arms, feeling goose bumps form as a chill ran through her suddenly. _And wasn't it just a day ago that he was holding me? _she remembered. _Or maybe it was two? _In all the worry over fighting Caleb and the Turok-Hans, she had lost track of the days.

__

He told me he loved me and held me as I slept, Buffy remembered. _And it was my one night of solace and finding peace...that night in his arms. _

Buffy thought back to the night at the abandoned house where she and Spike had slept...actually *slept*, nothing like what they had engaged in a year ago, but something meaningful. 

While everyone else was out partying or spending one last night with their sweetheart, she and Spike had shared something...something unforgettable.

She still remembered what they had said to each other...

~~~

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After the sun had set, Buffy wandered into an empty home looking for a place to rest. After all, it wasn't too much trouble finding a place to stay since most of Sunnydale was deserted by now, anyway. She made her way back into the bedroom, preparing to lie down. Buffy planned to get in a few minutes of sleep before going back out there and trying to find Caleb again. 

Unexpectedly, the door swung open. Buffy froze, falling into a fighting stance in case Caleb was on the other side of the door.

Instead, it was a bleached-blonde headed vampire, looking at her with nothing but concern in his eyes.

"Hey," she whispered after a beat, lowering her fighting stance. "You found me."

"Hey..." Spike replied just as softly. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you." Buffy nodded, walking up to the door and standing aside. "Come on in," she invited.

Spike crossed the threshold and walked deeper into the room. "I went back to the house...got some interesting news about you being kicked out."

"Yeah...how 'bout that?" Buffy tried to joke; unfortunately, the joke fell flat. 

"So I had a few unpleasant words with the Scoobies, especially those annoying potential chits...the one in the sling, especially, " Spike rolled his eyes at that; obviously the talk with the potentials hadn't gone well. "...and I tracked you as quick as I could...tried to find you as soon as I could."

Buffy nodded, the pain of being "voted" out of the house still fresh in her memory. "I wish you had been there," she murmured. "You would have been there to defend me against them...seems like all my friends have turned against me."

"They're being bloody stupid."

"Guess I shouldn't be surprised. After all, the Slayer is ultimately alone, right?" Buffy spoke, thinking back to all the other times in her life when her friends had deserted her for a time. Words that Angelus had spoken to her came to mind. "No weapons...no friends...no hope..."

Spike couldn't believe what she was saying, as if she was giving up. He took a few steps closer to her, trying to reassure her fears and worries. "You don't honestly believe that, right? There is always hope. We'll pull through this, we will."

"Maybe it was for the best, me getting kicked out," Buffy spoke, walking back to the bed and sitting on the edge. 

"Don't you start with that. I don't even want to hear it," Spike ordered. "They had *no* right to do that to you, love. If anything, you're the one person they can't do without!"

"I just don't know..." Buffy began, tears welling in the corner of her eyes. "Every time I try to lead...make a decision...someone gets hurt. I try to keep them out of it, and they still wind up dying or injured."

"It's not your fault," Spike assured her. "Harris knew what he was getting into right from the start seven bloody years ago. You warned him not to get into it, and he did, knowing the dangers."

"Then maybe it's better that Faith is in charge," Buffy suggested. "She'll probably get them all killed, but, hey...as long as the girls have some *fun* before the End of Days, why should it matter?"

Spike knelt on the floor, looking up at her with love reflecting in his orbs. "You can't blame yourself for everything that happens in this town, Buffy."

Buffy gazed into his eyes, wanting desperately to lose herself in them for one more time...just one night was all she wanted. Quickly, before she did something she'd live to regret, she turned her head away from him, breaking eye contact. 

"Maybe you should leave," she suggested. 

"I'm not leaving you here to wallow in your self-loathing and pity," Spike responded. 

"Please. Leave." she repeated.

"No." Spike reached out and touched her cheek before placing his whole hand on the side of her face, gently turning her head around to face him. "I know about the vineyard...I know that you might have rushed everyone in there unprepared. And I don't care about that. A hundred plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of -- I love you."

"Spike..." Buffy whispered. _I need to tell him...now's my perfect chance to say it back. _Instead, her voice faltered and she muttered something softly. 

"Can you...will you just hold me?" she requested.

"What?"

"Just for tonight...hold me while I fall asleep, please?"

Spike nodded and leaned back on his heels while he watched Buffy fold the sheets back and plump up the pillows before climbing in underneath the sheets. 

Unsure of how to act, Spike slowly climbed in beside her, pulling the sheets up to their waist and lying on his side, facing her. Spike didn't want to make any sudden movements, the memory of what he had done to her before, still deep in the back of his mind. 

Buffy shifted her weight, turning on her side to face him. She lay her head inside the crook of his arm, taking his other hand and laying it across her stomach, continuing to hold onto his hand after she dropped it against her waist. She breathed a deep sigh, feeling the tension begin to flow from her body. 

When she raised her head a bit, she found herself staring into Spike's eyes, this time unable to look away. 

"Thank you," she whispered, her free hand reaching out to touch his shirt-covered chest. 

Spike shook his head, a sad smile on his face. "No, love, thank *you*."

Buffy closed her eyes, burying herself deeper into his embrace and breathing him in, as a smile fleetingly traveled across her face. "I'm just going to sleep...just for a little while."

"Just rest, love."

Feeling the pull of unconsciousness, Buffy closed her eyes, muttering a few words. "Wake me...in five...minutes."

"Promise," Spike lied, knowing that once she was asleep, he was going to let her rest for as long as possible. 

As Buffy began to drift off, she swore she felt a pair of cool lips brush across her forehead, pressing a light kiss on top her head. _I love you, Spike..._ she thought as she gave into unconsciousness. 

"...Buffy...?"

~~~

"Buffy?"

"BUFFY!" 

Buffy jumped up at the sound of Dawn calling out her name and shaking her shoulder back and forth. "We're at the rest stop," she announced. 

"Already?" Buffy asked. Apparently, she had gotten so lost in her thoughts and memories of that night, she hadn't even been aware that half an hour had already passed. "Thanks, Dawnie."

Wiping the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes, Buffy slowly sat up and stretched her arms. She placed the memories of that night with Spike in the back of her mind, where she hopefully wouldn't have to think about them ever again. 

However, before rising from her seat, she thought back to one last thing...

__

"A hundred plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of -- I love you."

God, how she wished she had told him that night that she felt the exact same way. 

~~~

Spike rolled onto his side, groaning when he felt his body protesting to every motion and movement. His ribs ached, his legs felt numb, hell -- even his finger joints felt sore, and his lungs burned. 

Of course, the burning in his lungs might have had something to do with the fact that he hadn't taken a breath in over a century. 

Gradually, taking it slowly and at a step at a time, he made his way to the staircase at the entrance to the basement. Several steps were missing as a result of the quake and cave in, but at least most of the stairway was intact. Holding tightly onto the railing, in case the remaining steps beneath him decided to give away, Spike slowly made his way to the top of the stairs and down the hallway. 

Spike stood at the front doorway, less than another step away from where the beam of sunlight began, when he froze, old habits suddenly getting the best of him. The rational part of his mind told him everything was fine...he was breathing and had a heartbeat. For some unexplainable reason, he wasn't dead; in fact, he was human. 

Therefore, there should be no reason to be afraid of stepping into the sunlight.

Gathering up his courage, Spike limped and dragged his way through the double glass doors, mow missing most of the glass, and into the sun that was now beaming down on him. _Well, I'll be damned, _he thought, squinting up at the brightness overhead of him. 

He felt the warmth on his skin, something that he had all but forgotten the feel of. _I'm going to need some bloody SPF 500, _he swore when he looked down at his pale skin. 

Spike took another deep breath, freezing, however, when he felt a rush of intense pain in his stomach. From the feel of it, at least two of his ribs must have been broken or bruised, probably more. _It's been a while since I felt pain this great, _he thought, now remembering that he would no longer have any vampire traits. 

__

Buffy! he then remembered, forgetting about his pain for a moment. _I've got to get to Buffy...see if she really meant what she told me back there, or..._ well, he didn't want to think about the "or."

Spike began trudging down what looked like Main Street, the road that was once the main road for traveling through the town that had been reduced to a worn and beaten path. He saw a deserted car, a Jetta, parallel parked on the other side of the street. Taking another breath and trying to ignore the pain, he drew closer to the car, noticing the broken windows. _Please let there be keys somewhere in there, _Spike thought.

A few seconds later, Spike carefully lowered himself into the driver's seat, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw the keys still in the ignition switch. _Please start, _he commanded silently, turning the ignition switch on.

The engine roared to life and Spike grinned. 

Finally, something good happening. 

Turning the car around, Spike began leaving the town that he had called home for the last four years. 

__

Good riddance.

Now Leaving Sunnydale

Come Back Soon!

__

Not bloody likely.

~~~

Two and a half hours later, Spike finally made it to his destination. 

He barely made it, however, having almost passed out twice from the pain, one time from what must have been a concussion, and coming close to getting a speeding ticket on the highway. Nevertheless, he had arrived in one piece. Spike pulled himself out of the car and walked up to the double door entrance. Pushing the doors open with a grunt of pain, he managed to smile at everyone inside. 

Spike nodded once at the man standing a few feet in front of him, gawking at the very sight of seeing him.

"Hello, there, Peaches," Spike greeted.

Two seconds later, he was on the floor, unconscious. 

~~~

TBC...

Please let me know what you thought! Did I just drag along? Hated my version of "Touched?" (I am kinda nervous about what you throught about my take on it...) Constructive criticism only, please. 


	3. Chapter 3

WOW! I'm really sorry about the lengthy time between parts. The past few weekends, which is when I usually have the most free time, have been really hectic. Anyway, even though the series finale has already aired, I'm sticking with what I've been planning to do all along. Angel came to Sunnydale with the Amulet but that was all...definitely no smoochies. 

Also, another reason for delay was that I had to wait to see the season finale of Angel to see what was going on over there before starting this part...I'm a week and a day behind the usual WB schedule because I don't have the WB, so I had to wait for the finale.

Anyway, I hope you all are still with me and hope you enjoy the new part! Thank you for all the reviews and support so far :)

Never Gave Up, part 3/?

****

By: Rachel

See Part One for all the author notes and disclaimer. 

~*~*~*~

Fred walked to the other side of the office with a half-filled box of books in between her hands. She approached the front desk and set the box down before picking up the remaining books and papers from the desk and placing them inside the box. 

"Hey. There you are," Wes spoke, sticking his head through the doorway and looking into the office. "Are you almost finished packing?"

Fred nodded and gave him a shaky smile. "Almost done." She placed a few more books in the box before placing the lid on top. Picking up the box again, she started heading out of the room along side Wesley, saying, "Gosh, I can't believe that we're moving out of this place."

"Well, I, for one, think it's great," Gunn said as he passed by Fred. "I think it's about time we all get a new start an' all, right?"

"Quite right," Wesley agreed. 

"Oh, c'mon...you're just happy about getting a chance to read everything down there in that basement, aren't you?" Gunn asked, teasing his friend.

Wesley cracked a smile, unable to control his excitement about their new work place. "I admit, I'm looking forward to further exploring everything inside that building." After all, he spent all of his free time researching the information and many prophecies that he found in the back room at the law firm. 

Almost a week had passed since Angel accepted Wolfram and Hart's offer. The crew, which now consisted of Fred, Wesley, Gunn, Angel, and occasionally Lorne, had spent the week packing up everything and moving out of the Hyperion Hotel. With their newly established bank accounts that Wolfram and Hart provided for each person, everyone had bought new and much more expensive apartments, including Angel who now had a direct route to Wolfram and Hart without risking possibly of running into any sunlight. 

Even better was that Wesley was quickly becoming a member of the crew again. His friendship that he had once had with Gunn was slowly forming all over as well. The only thing no one spoke about was the never-ending awkward love triangle between Gunn, Fred, and Wes, which was fine for Wesley since he was just happy to have his friends back with him once more.

"So, do you think Angel made the right decision, then?" Fred asked the two men standing in front of her. "After all...he seemed so suspicious of them, I'm just-"

"I'm *still* suspicious of them," Angel interrupted, walking down the stairs with a couple duffle bags across his shoulder. "I don't trust them -- I probably never will, but I did what I had to. I did what needed to be done." 

"Well, all I can say is, if they help get Cordy out of that coma...then I think it was a good move," Gunn explained. 

"Yeah..." Angel agreed, avoiding eye contact with the rest of the people in the room. 

It still hadn't fully sunk in yet that he was the only one who knew about his son, Connor. The only son he had ever, and might ever, have was nothing more than a figment of his imagination...just something else that he would have to bear on his shoulders alone. 

But Angel couldn't think about that now. 

He had to worry about what Wolfram and Hart were up to now. Saying that he was suspicious of the law firm was an understatement. Angel didn't trust them a bit. 

After all, they were bent on destroying him ever since the very first case he had taken in LA and *now* they were offering him the entire business?

They had to be up to something.

But what that something was, Angel didn't know. All he knew was that he was determined to find out. He accepted the offer, planning to snoop around every corner and every nook and cranny of every room inside the building until he discovered something that would explain the reason why. 

"Where's Lorne?" Angel asked, walking down the last few remaining stairs and into the main room.

"Oh, he's already at W and H," Gunn explained. "Been over there for a few hours by now."

"Yeah, he's getting a look around at a place he's got in mind to turn into a new karaoke bar," Fred continued. "You should have seen him...hasn't stopped talking about it all day."

"And everything else is already over there?" Angel asked, making sure that they weren't leaving anything behind.

"We've got it covered, man," Gunn assured him. "Anyway, it's not like anyone is going to be taking any of these books anytime soon. Who would want to move into this ol' place?"

"Shall we?" Wesley asked, picking up a crate and another bag filled with various weapons. 

The other three grabbed what they could and started heading towards the double doors, taking one last look around the building they had called home for the last almost three years. 

Before anyone made it to the steps, however, the doors flew open and a pale figure dressed entirely in black, stumbled into the room. He took a few deep breaths, groaning as he pressed a hand to his side, before raising his blue eyes to look around the room. 

__

What the hell? Angel asked himself, his mouth falling open for a second. "Spike?"

"Hello, there, Peaches," the bleached-blonde haired man greeted with a smirk at his Sire. 

Spike wobbled back a forth for a second, before slumping onto the ground with another groan escaping his mouth before falling into unconsciousness. 

"Oh-my-gosh!" Fred cried, dropping the box she was holding and running up to the fallen man. She ran her hand down his side and pulled it away, gasping when she felt blood on her fingertips. "Angel!"

Gunn let the bags slide off his arm and onto the floor and hurried to Fred's side. "Angel, man, you should call the hospital," he announced when he looked at Spike's condition.

Wesley took a step towards Angel, lowering his voice as he spoke. "Angel? Isn't that...?"

A low, soft growl slipped past Angel's lips as he stared at his grand-childe laying on the floor. "Spike," he muttered, frowning. 

"But -- But it's four in the afternoon," Wesley stated. "He just...walked inside?"

"Angel!" Gunn repeated. "You better step on that phone call, dude. The guy's heart beat is really faint, I think we're losing him."

Both Angel and Wesley's mouths dropped before exclaiming, "heart beat?!"

Angel was the first to regain his thoughts and crossed the room to the front desk. He picked up the phone, hoping that the line hadn't already been disconnected. Angel punched in 9-1-1 and waited for someone to pick up on the other line.

"Hello? Yes...we need an ambulance...the Hyperion Hotel, yes...4121 Wilshire Blvd. Sure -- that'd be great. Thanks." He turned to Gunn and Fred and nodded. "OK, they'll be here in about five to ten minutes."

"What do we do until then?"

"Just keep him comfortable, I guess," Angel answered. 

Gunn removed his jean jacket and balled it up, using it as a pillow to prop up Spike's head. "Do you know this guy?" He asked Angel.

"Yeah," Angel began. "He's my...my childe."

Gunn's eyes widened and he shook his head. "You've got kids? Man, and here I was thinking that vampires couldn't have any--"

"He means childe as in when a vampire creates another vampire. The creator is the sire and the vampire created is its childe," Wesley explained. "Angel...or was it Drusilla?" He asked, looking over at the brown-haired vampire for a second before continuing. "Sired him back in the 1880s, if memory serves."

Fred frowned and placed her fingers at Spike's neck, feeling a faint, but steady pulse beneath her fingertips. "But Angel...this man is alive."

Wesley looked over at Angel for confirmation as he spoke. "Something must have happened in Sunnydale after you left. Something vitally important."

"Yeah..." Angel said once again. He had been hoping that Buffy would call him after the final battle was over. _She must have lived through it, _he swore to himself. _I'd know if she hadn't. _However, Spike showing up here...beaten and bloodied up, and...alive? 

Yes, something *major* must have definitely happened after he left Sunnydale. 

He turned back to the phone and dialed a new number. "Yeah, it's Angel...get me Lilah."

Fred, Gunn, and Wesley all turned to Angel when they heard him say the name of the boss of Wolfram and Hart. 

"Lilah? It's Angel."

"Angel...well, what a pleasant surprise," her sultry voice greeted. "We're all expecting you and your friends over here any time now, and--"

"Save it, Lilah," Angel cut her off. "Look, I need you to meet us at the hospital. Something has come up."

"Sure thing," she agreed. "You're the boss."

Angel hung up as he once again wondered what Wolfram and Hart were really up to. 

Outside, the shrill siren of an ambulance rang clear. The group heard doors open and close and voices grow louder as the EMTs approached the front door. 

"Wes, I need you to drive me over to the hospital," Angel requested, grabbing his jacket and heading towards the basement to get out of the hotel without being exposed to the daylight. "You guys...stay with him."

~~~

After arriving at the hospital, Spike had been rushed inside and treated immediately. The doctor said that he had suffered a severe concussion, massive intensive bleeding in his stomach and chest, three broken ribs, a fractured arm, and other small bumps and bruises here and there on his body. The most dangerous thing was his internal bleeding, which the doctors, at that point in time, could only hope they were able to stop in time.

Ten minutes later, the entire crew had gathered at the hospital in the emergency ward. Angel stood outside in the waiting room, anxiously pacing back and forth. 

"So, what's the deal with this Billy Idol wanna-be?" Gunn asked, looking up at the pacing vampire.

"His name is Spike," Angel began. "Drusilla, a woman I sired, made him, and, along with Darla, the four of us ran throughout Europe maiming and killing everyone in our path until I was cursed with my soul." 

Angel continued to explain Spike's past as easily and best he could so Gunn and Fred would understand everything.

"Man...your entire family is just completely wack," Gunn muttered after hearing the entire story. 

Before anyone could say anything else, a nurse walked into the room, saying, "Are you all here for Spike Williams?" 

"Yes," all four replied. 

"Is he awake?" Angel asked. _Maybe he can explain what happened. Why he's suddenly human._

"Not really. He's drifting in and out of consciousness," she explained. "The doctors said he was muttering something about...Buffy? Is that one of your four?"

Everyone shook their heads. "No, it's a friend of ours, but she isn't here right now," Angel said. "Is that all?"

"No. There were some scattered sentences and fragments like...really love me..something like never giving up until he finds Buffy, something about being human, and something else about a poofer?" She asked, her tone confused since none of the muttered words made sense to her. 

Angel smirked and shook his head. _Typical Spike, _he thought. "Are we allowed to go back there and see him?"

"Of course. But I can only allow two visitors at a time at the most," she told him. 

"I'm going to go back there and check on him," Angel said.

"All right. Anyone else?" the nurse asked.

"I'd like to go," a woman's voice announced as she stepped into the room.

"Lilah," Angel greeted. "Nice of you to stop by."

"Sorry, Angel. I was detained. Everyone who isn't already assigned to a job has been spending the entire day looking into what happened down in Sunnydale," she explained. "For you."

As the nurse led the two down the hallway, Angel asked Lilah, "Anything?" about possible news from Sunnydale.

"Nothing," she replied. "Seems like everything was swallowed up in that town. Everyone had deserted their homes weeks ago aside from your little Slayer and her army...there wasn't anything left but rubble and decay when we sent people down there to check it out for you."

"Great," Angel sarcastically muttered.

"The news reporters are calling it a freak earthquake," Lilah continued, smirking at the pathetic excuse. "They said it happened so quickly that the seismograph just didn't have the time to pick up on it. Either that or the seismographs were malfunctioning."

"Sounds like something they'd come up with as an excuse for an apocalyptic battle," Angel sarcastically replied. 

"So what was it that you wanted me to see?" she asked.

"I was wondering if you knew what happened here," Angel began as they neared Spike's room. 

Lilah looked the blonde man over, unsure of what Angel wanted her to say. "Your bet is as good as mine. Who is he?"

"My grande-childe, of sorts..." Angel responded. "William the Bloody, also known as Spike. The vampire that rampaged through Europe along side Drusilla back during my Angelus days."

Lilah smirked and shook her head. "Doesn't look like a vampire anymore, does he?" She walked around the bed Spike lay in as she spoke, looking at him from every angle. 

"You're telling me," Angel agreed. He began moving to the doorway to exit the room, Lilah following beside him. "So I need you to get another group of people to find out everything they can about a vampire turning human again. Research this, Lilah. Maybe the amulet you gave me had some mystical properties in it that we didn't know about. Maybe he said or did something wrong, or--"

"Or maybe it was the prophecy," Wesley interrupted from the doorway. He stood leaning against the side paneling, and nodded his head in a greeting towards the woman inside. "Lilah," he greeted. 

"The prophecy?" Angel and Lilah asked together.

"You're going to have to get a little bit more specific than that," Lilah added. 

"Don't you remember, Angel? The Prophecies of Aberjian," Wesley explained. "We stole it from their...well, our law firm years ago when you went in to get those files for Lindsey."

That thought obviously hadn't even crossed Angel's mind. "Oh, that prophecy. But I thought that you said it would be for--"

"For you...yes, that is what I thought at the time." One of Wesley's eyebrows raised as he continued to speak. "But when I translated it, you were the only vampire with a soul around at that time. Things can change over time, even ensouled vampires, apparently."

Lilah stood looking at the two men in front of her. "I'm sorry...the Prophecies of Aberjian? I don't think I'm familiar with that." She added sarcastically, "After all, it was stolen from Wolfram and Hart."

Wesley motioned them out into the empty hallway so they could be closer together to talk. "The Prophecies of Aberjian talked about a vampire with a soul, who, after fulfilling his destiny, would shanshu."

"Shanshu?"

"Become human," Angel explained, crossing his arms across his chest and frowning. For years he had always thought that prophecy was his. It had always been in the back of his mind, always been a possibility. But now it seemed that this possibility was becoming less possible the more Wesley explained it.

"The prophecy said there would be apocalyptic battles," Wesley began.

"I think The First pretty much counts as an apocalyptic battle," Lilah commented. 

"...several other enemies that would show up," he continued.

"Your little Witch friend gone evil, Glory, the hell-god bent on destroying the world.," Lilah listed. "What do you know? Sounds like we've got a winner here."

Angel sighed, running his hand through his hair. 

Was it really not meant for him then? 

This prophecy was meant for, of all vampires...**Spike**?!

~~~

OK...there's part 3! Part 4 is already 1/2 written. Sorry there wasn't too much plot...just a filler part to get me to the next couple of parts. I really hope you enjoyed -- please review! 


	4. Chapter 4

Well, I hope everyone is still enjoying -- thank you so much for the reviews for the last part! I'm sorry there isn't B/S yet if that's what you can't wait to read, but I can't rush right into any Spuffyness...we've got to get through some of Spike's story first. 

Never Gave Up, part 4/?

By: Rachel

See Part One for all the author notes and disclaimer. 

~*~*~*~

  
Pain...  
  
More pain...  
  
_Oh, bloody hell, where am I?_  
  
It hurt to move, hurt to even think, but Spike managed to pry one eyelid open, groaning as he did so. "Uhh...where am I?" he whispered hoarsely.  
  
Angel, who was sitting in a chair at the other end of the bed, immediately rose to his feet and walked up to Spike. "Spike? You're finally awake."  
  
"Angelus?" Spike bleakly muttered.

"Yeah, Spike, it's Angel," he answered. "You're in LA, at the hospital."

"Wh...what?"

"Whatever happened left you beat up pretty badly. You had a lot of internal bleeding," Angel began to explain. "But the doctors think you're going to be all right."

Spike swallowed, his tongue feeling thick on the roof of his mouth, feeling as though he was unable to talk correctly. "W -- Won?"

Angel shrugged. "That's what I was hoping you could tell me. Do you remember what happened?" When Spike didn't answer, he tried again. "Did you see Buffy make it out okay?"

Suddenly, Spike jumped up, groaning aloud when he felt an intense wave of pain course through him. He struggled through the tangled wires and hoses strapped around him, trying to get free. "Buffy!" he shouted. 

"Spike!" Angel cried out, grabbing onto his shoulders and pushing him back onto the bed. "You're going to hurt yourself even more if you keep this up."

"No, I have to get to her," he said. "Tell her...tell her I'm...I'm sorry I -- I didn't believe."

__

Believe what? Angel asked himself. "We'll find her," He assured him, trying to get Spike to calm down. "Don't worry, we'll find her."

"God, I'm so...stupid." Spike swallowed thickly again. "I...It hurts..."

"I know," Angel said apologetically. "Just rest, and we can talk about it later, all right?"

"Okay..." Spike murmured. He closed his eyes and turned his head away from Angel, slowly drifting out of consciousness once again.

Angel sat back in his chair, looking over at his grand-childe as he grimaced in his sleep. 

Only one thought ran through the vampire's mind: _what the hell happened to him?!_  


  
~~~

  
  
After that conversation with Angel, it was another few days before Spike was fully conscious and aware of what was going on around him. During that time, Angel remained by Spike's bedside in case he awoke suddenly and could explain what happened in Sunnydale. Meanwhile, Lorne, Fred and Gunn continued moving their head quarters from the Hyperion to the offices inside Wolfram and Hart while Wesley and Lilah were trying to translate the rest of the Prophecy of Aberjian. 

"So, you're telling me that somehow I turned human... and it's a possibility that this bloody amulet is the thing that did it to me?" Spike asked, staring at Angel with a disbelieving look on his face. His bed had been raised so he could sit up and talk to Angel without feeling much pain and a plate of lunch had been set in front of him a few minutes ago, which he had yet to touch. 

"Something like that," Angel answered, shrugging his shoulders up and down, hoping he wouldn't have to talk about the Prophecy. 

"Well, bloody hell," Spike muttered. "If I had known *that* was suppose to happen, I would have let you do it."

Angel's eyebrows raised. "You don't want to be human?"

'Hell no," Spike grumbled. "I liked being a vampire just fine."

"So, can you tell me what happened?" Angel asked.

"No."

Angel groaned and ran a hand through his hair, agitated by his childe's immature attitude. "Look, Spike, can we just put the past aside for once? Stop acting like a twelve year old child and answer me."

"Fine," Spike spat out. "Want the Spark Notes version? Big battle. Lots of death, lots of vampires. I put on the amulet, said a bloody charm, destroyed the vampires, got buried in the process, and the next thing I know, I'm climbing out from underneath a pile of rubble," Spike explained.

Angel sighed. _Always has to be difficult, doesn't he? _"Couldn't you be a bit more specific?" He requested, trying to get Spike to answer truthfully. "Like what happened with you and Buffy?"

Spike shook his head before looking away from Angel. "No. *That* is none of your bloody business."

Angel could tell from the look on Spike's face that this was Spike's way of trying to announced that this part of the conversation had come to a close. Angel cleared his throat before continuing. "Actually, we don't think it was the amulet that changed you...well, not directly, anyway."

"Really?" Spike poked at the mysterious lump of food on the plate before him before looking back up at the vampire. "So what was it then?"

"A prophecy," Angel reluctantly answered. 

Angel didn't want to admit that the prophecy was possibly -- probably -- meant for Spike. That meant loosing the only dream of a peaceful future and redemption he had left. However, the more Wesley and Lilah translated, the more it looked as if the Prophecy of Aberjian was meant for the annoying bleached-blonde haired man lying in bed in front of him. 

__

Damn those Powers That Be.

"Bloody hell," Spike cursed. "They're writing prophecies about me now?"

"Looks like," Angel said. "Wes hasn't gotten the whole thing translated, but the Cliff notes version is that a vampire with a soul will regain his humanity after the apocalypse and the end of days."

"Sounds like what I went through," Spike acknowledged. "So...I'm a bloody human, breathing and alive. What the hell do I do next?"

Angel stood and walked closer towards the ex-vampire. "Whatever you want to do, Spike. We're not sure if this is what's happening, so when you get out of the hospital, you should probably stick around and see what happens, if anything."

"When can I get out of here?"

"Doctors don't know," Angel answered. "They are still worried about your internal bleeding and bruises."

"I see..." Spike lowered his eyes and looked around the room, disbelief clear on his face. _Here I am, sitting in a hospital bed with the Poofer across from me, and I'm dressed in a bloody hospital gown!_

"Has...has anyone from Sunnydale called you?" Spike asked, looking back up. "Any news from Rupert or Buffy?"

"No. No one has heard from her since I saw her last," Angel explained. "That's why I was hoping you could fill me in on whatever happened that night. You must have been one of the last people there to ever see her."

"Look, I said that I don't want to talk about that," Spike warned.

"Spike..."

Spike looked away, his determination to not speak to Angel about what happened beginning to waver. When he didn't hear any sign of Angel leaving, he finally spoke. "Fine...you want to know what the hell happened?" Spike began, his voice soft but cold and distant. "We fought a damn army of Turok-Hans -- it was a bloody hard fight...lost girls everywhere...had casualties." He turned his head back around to look at Angel now. "Then, we managed to get our way to the seal. I charged in there with the amulet around my neck and Buffy right behind me."

"So Buffy *was* with you?"

"Yes, she was. I said the magic incantation, got the power of the amulet started, and presto! -- this bright light came out," Spike explained, closing his eyes to picture the scene all over again. "Red said it destroyed all the Turok-Hans outside. We had won...but then everything started shaking...falling apart, and the light wouldn't stop shining.

"So, I told Buffy to get out...that this was her chance for that normal life she had always been denied of but wanted," Spike continued. "But she refused...stupid bint, she was actually going to stay and die with me..." He opened his eyes, now glistening with tears, and looked up at Angel. "She made it out, though. I managed to get her out before the building collapsed."

"And that was it?"

"No, you bloody wanker," Spike replied. "She...she said she loved me -- God, I'll never forget the look in her eyes as she said it...and I...I didn't believe her, or at least that's what I had to make her believe." He let out an emotionless chuckle full of regret as he thought back to what they last shared words had been... 

**__**

"I need to tell you, Spike.…..I never got the chance to tell you, with every…Spike, I need to tell you that...I love you." 

"You don't need to tell me something like that just because I'm the one saving the world."

Spike shrugged as he continued speaking. "I was bloody stupid, but I just...I just couldn't think about what she said right then...I had to make sure she got out of there alive. Had to get her out safe. Only problem now is she's out there somewhere believing that I didn't believe *her*, which, of course, is a bloody lie."

__

My God... Angel thought to himself. He had known that Buffy and Spike had gone through some type of a relationship together -- just how dark it was, however, was unknown to him. Buffy told him that Spike genuinely loved her, that he was in her heart and that he was very important to her. 

But *that * important? Angel found that hard to believe. After all, it was *Spike* of all people. 

"She kissed me...said she loved me a couple times, and ran out, with tears streaming down her soft cheeks," Spike explained, feeling one tear of his own trail down his cheek. "So now you know, she got out fine, assuming she made it out of Sunnydale past that point."

"So that's when...?"

"That's when everything went dark. I woke up...who knows how much time had passed, but I woke up and I was breathing." Spike sighed. "Bloody hell, I still can't believe I'm human."

"Well, you'd better get used to it," Angel pointed out. 

Spike sighed and lowered the bed, his little strength already giving out. "I'm going to get some sleep now," he announced.

Angel stood, saying, "All right." he started heading towards the doorway before turning back around. "I'll keep you updated on when you can get out of here. Maybe it'll just be a few days more."

"All right," Spike replied. "And Angel?"

Angel turned around, a look of surprise and curiosity on his face. It was the first time in many years that Spike had actually called him by his real name without sarcasm or fury in his tone. "Yes?"

"Thanks," Spike said, a look of gratitude for saving him, taking him to the hospital, and helping him clear in his expression. Spike's one word said everything.

"You're welcome, m'boy," Angel answered with a smirk on his face before closing the door behind him.

~~~

Over the past few days after leaving Sunnydale in ruins, Buffy and the gang had set out on returning the surviving potentials -- now Slayers, back to their homes before worrying about what they would do next. Vi and Rhona were the first two that left, the two young women determined to keep fighting the good fight in their home town as long as possible while also keeping an eye out for any other possible Slayers.

The other girls made their way back home, confronting their confused, angry, and questioning parents about where they had been for the past months and giving tearful farewells to their other family that had trained and protected them during that time. 

As the bus made its way across the country, the number of people on board became less and less until it was down to a select few: the original gang, a few of the slayers from China or India that would have to return home by airplane, and Kennedy, who would go where ever Willow went. 

"So, was that the last one?" Buffy asked, after walking back onto the bus and sitting in one of the seats in the back. _Please tell me it is, _she thought. All Buffy wanted to do was check into a hotel for the night and take a nice, hot, bubble bath with a Sarah McLachlan CD playing in the background as she cried away all her tears, finally letting out all her anger and mourning for her lost lover.

She had placed up emotional walls just minutes after leaving, letting everyone else around her think that Spike's death meant nothing to her, but as the days went by, Buffy wasn't sure how much longer she could keep it up. 

"Looks like," Faith replied, looking around at the small group made up of Buffy, Willow, Xander, Robin, Dawn, Kennedy and herself. 

"So, what's next?" Dawn asked, looking at her older sister. 

Buffy shook her head, not knowing what to say. She had a future ahead of her now -- a future that could possibly be demon-free. What could she say about that? "I -- honestly, I don't know. I haven't had a chance to really think about it the last few days, we've been so busy." 

And that much was true. She had been so busy helping everyone return home safely that she hadn't been able to sit down by herself for very long, which was good since that kept her from thinking about certain things.

Things like Spike. 

Things like Spike's death. What he had told her seconds before said death...

**__**

"I need to tell you, Spike.…..I never got the chance to tell you, with every…Spike, I need to tell you that...I love you."

"You don't need to tell me something like that just because I'm the one saving the world."

No, Buffy, there's nothing good thinking about that again, she told herself, trying to concentrate on the conversation around her instead of her memories. 

"Then maybe you should start thinking about it, B," Faith said. "Gotta whole world out there waitin'."

"We still have Chao-Ahn and a few of the others to drop off," Kennedy reminded everyone, nodding to the back of the bus where the remaining Slayers along with Andrew, were sleeping. "So, we still have some time to figure everything out."

Giles, who had been driving the bus for the last few hours, pulled into a gas station that was located at the end of the street and turned the engine off to talk to everyone else.

"Well, I have an idea that I've been thinking about for the last couple of days," began Giles, after clearing his throat and walking back to where everyone else was sitting. "With all the newly discovered and activated Slayers and the potentials back in their home states now, I've decided that I would like to restart the Watcher's Council -- begin again with a fresh start and get rid of some of the old and out-dated rules that Travers used to follow."

"That sounds like a great idea," Willow exclaimed, happy that Giles, at least, was trying to move on. 

"Of course, that'd mean moving back to England again," he continued. "But since the hell-mouth is closed, that shouldn't be a problem. I can send a Slayer to the Hellmouth in Cleveland." _Maybe Kennedy, _he thought, remembering how well she had defended herself in Sunnydale. _And, of course, that'd mean Willow would go as well, and a Hellmouth can always use a powerful Wiccan._

Faith jokingly shoved him, "Man, can't you just let us rest for a few days before giving us a new assignment? Seriously, now."

"It is a good idea, Mr. Giles," Robin Wood agreed before running his hand down Faith's back. He saw her smile at him before he patted her side and released his grip on her. "Maybe you could use some help over there?"

"What do you mean?" Giles asked.

"Yeah, what *do* you mean," repeated Faith, looking over at him with worry in her brow. 

"I'm just saying...my mother was a Slayer, so I know a lot about training, weapons -- you name it," Wood began. "I know I don't have the English accent or the stylish tweed suits that all Watchers seem to have, but, I don't know...maybe I could be a Watcher."

Giles thought about it for a second before nodding slowly. He resisted the urge to take off his glasses and clean them when he asked, "And I'm assuming that you'd, uh...you'd like to watch over...F -- Faith?"

Robin looked over at the brunette by his side. "What do you think? You could be the first official Slayer over there in England." _With me_, he silently added.

Faith tossed the idea back and forth in her mind for a second. Did she really want to continue slaying, continue on that road to redemption like Angel had wanted her to? Take a chance with Robin and actually have a watcher again? _But, damn girl, it's Robin Wood! _she told herself. "If you go, I'll go, babe," she said with a grin on her face. 

Buffy looked over at her sister-in-slaying and smiled. After everything she had gone through, Faith deserved some happiness. _At least one Slayer will be happy_, she thought regretfully. 

"So, we're all splitting up already?" Xander asked, never one to say goodbye to his friends. "Just like that?" He had been hoping that they'd all settle down in another town all close together where they would live permanently. 

"Hang on there, Xander," Buffy interrupted. "We don't know what we're doing yet, either. We're homeless, broke, and have no idea where to go."

"What about Dad, Buffy?" Dawn asked.

Buffy rolled her eyes, saying, "Last thing I heard from him was that he was somewhere in Asia with his secretary's sister."

"Then what about Angel?" Faith questioned. "He'd probably help you out."

Buffy didn't say anything for a minute, wondering if it would help to call Angel or not. The two had separated on fairly good terms, leaving things wide open for a future together, a future together that she didn't want -- not with him, anyway. _Would it even help to call him? _

"I -- I don't know," she began. "I don't want to bother him, and--"

"Oh, c'mon, B," Faith interrupted. "He won't mind. Now just get your butt off this bus and go call him."

A few minutes later, Buffy stood in front of the pay phone outside the gas station with the receiver in her hand and the thirty-five cents in the other. "Okay, just call him," she whispered to herself. 

She pushed in the quarter and dime and punched in his number. It rang a couple times and then clicked -- as if someone had picked up the phone.

"Angel?" she hurriedly asked.

But Angel wasn't the one answering.

Instead, the only voice she heard was the female voice of a computer that told her, "We're sorry, this line has been disconnected. Your call could not be placed."

~~~

TBC...

So, Buffy and Spike are pretty much miserable right now and, to make things worse, she's lost contact with Angel -- the only person who knows that Spike is actually alive! What's going to happen next? Keep reading and find out! Please review :)


	5. No chapter yet

So, probably you're all wondering: Where's the damn story?!

I'm really sorry for my sudden dissapearance from this story. I hate it that I've become one of those authors that never updates and looks like I'm going to leave a WIP forever...believe me, I really do hate it. 

Anyway, I have part five just about ready to post, but then this huge problem came up about two weeks ago. I have carpal tunnel syndrome, and my doctor says it's really bad for someone my age. (He said no one my age should have a case this bad.) So my wrists and hands flared up in a huge, painful way, and I had to stay away from the keyboard until fairly recently. 

When I went to my doctor, he told me that if I wanted to avoid numbness, spasms, even more pain, and eventual surgery, I need to stay off the keyboard as often as possible. Well, that's pretty depressing...I run a pretty popular site that I update every 3 days or so, I write (along with this story, I had 2 others being planned out in the back of my mind) and I blog and talk to friends on MSN and AIM. 

What I've had to do is cut out a major part of my internet time, which unfortunately, includes my writing. I know it's summer, but I need my wrists to be in tip-top condition when the school year starts up again in a couple months. And in the profession I want to work in, I need to be able to use my wrists to type. 

So right now, the future of this story is uncertain. I've been getting discouraged with all the spoilers and the news about Angel that's been coming out b/c my story is just going NO WHERE right now. Anyway, as soon as my wrists are really 110% (because they still aren't feeling GREAT) I'll try to update with a new chapter. But if I go a while without writing anything, it's because I've really got to conserve my typing-time. 

Also, if you want to try and find out where I am and if I'm not writing because of my CTS, visit my livejournal: www.livejournal.com/users/cloudyvisions. If something is wrong with me, I usually post it there. 

Thank you for the support though and for the people who have left some reviews asking where I am. I'm really sorry about this, but my health comes first before writing, which should be a "duh" statement to everyone. 

Rachel


	6. Chapter 5

Thank you everyone for the amazing feedback and being so patient. Well, I could list all the excuses I have for not writing, but let's just say it was the summer care-free attitude, lack of inspiration, moving my site, work, and my carpal tunnel syndrome problem that came up. I'll try to do better next time -- but ooh, look...12 pages for you to read and enjoy! So, if I have any readers left, I hope you enjoy part five!

I just thought I'd remind everyone that I started this story May 8th, so it was solely based on the spoilers for "Chosen." Now that I have seen the last two episodes, some elements from "End of Days" and Chosen" have been incorporated into this story. However, especially the last scene, goes quite differently in my story. Make sure you have read previous parts because my "Chosen" is different from Joss'.

Never Gave Up, part 5/?

By: Rachel

See Part One for all the author notes and disclaimer. 

~*~*~*~

It had been over a week, almost two by now, since Buffy and her army had fled Sunnydale, leaving nothing but a pile of rubble and dust where a thriving small town had once stood. 

Two days ago, Giles, Robin Wood, and Faith had left to take the remaining Slayers back to their homes before returning to England and beginning the long process of re-establishing the Watcher's Council. Now their circle of friends was down to six -- Xander, Willow, Kennedy, Andrew, Buffy, and Dawn. 

Dawn had been watching Buffy over the last few days, worried about how her sister was dealing with everything that had happened; more importantly, who she had lost. Dawn carefully watched Buffy's expressions, her eyes, her movements, and noticed that everything her sister did was...slow. As if she had lost that spark of life within her after the final battle.

In Dawn's defense, however, she was surprised that it took as long as it did for everything to sink into her sister's incredibly thick skull.

Before leaving, Giles had given the gang a large sum of money that was left over from the old Watcher's Council, which would hopefully help the gang get back on their feet. Because of this, the group of six decided to take a break from the fast-food restaurants and cheap dine-ins and eat dinner somewhere a bit classier than McDonald's. Andrew suggested Outback since he saw it coming up on the traffic signs. Xander, who was currently driving, agreed, and pulled the school bus into the parking lot a few minutes later.

"Y'know," Xander started as he climbed off the bus. "We really are going to have to get something cooler to travel around in than a Sunnydale County school bus."

"I second that," Dawn agreed. 

"With what, Xander?" Buffy asked him. "We're kinda broke, remember? Giles' money will last for only so long." 

"Everything will work out in the end, Buffy," Xander tried to assure his friend. "We'll figure things out...start over, all new. And things will be okay. Hey, we made it through the apocalypse of the century, I think we can manage buying a new car."

Buffy smiled up at him. "I hope you're right, Xander."

"When am I ever not?" He joked back, reaching out and squeezing her shoulder before closing the bus door behind him. 

Once inside, the group piled into a booth in the back of the restaurant and looked at the menu in front of them. After their waitress took their orders for drinks, Dawn commented, "I think I want one of everything," as she looked over at all of the steaks listed. "God, we haven't eaten real food like this in days."

Everyone else quickly agreed. 

"What can I get for you all tonight?" Their waitress, Shannon, asked. "Would you like to start off with an appetizer?"

"Ooh, I would," Andrew enthusiastically said. "I think I'd like one of your flowering onion things."

Dawn bit her lip and looked nervously around the table, her eyes ending on Buffy, wondering if her sister had made the obvious connection between the food Andrew just ordered and the vampire that loved to eat them. Buffy's face was expressionless, her eyes focused on the menu in front of her, as if she hadn't heard what Andrew had requested. _Maybe she didn't hear him..._Dawn thought.

Xander, Willow, and Kennedy also ordered an appetizer before the waitress left. Willow and Kennedy whispered back and forth to each other for a few seconds before Willow cleared her throat and spoke up. "Since we're here, uh, we want to make an announcement." 

"Willow and I," Kennedy started, looking at her lover for a beat before continuing, "have decided that...that we want to keep on fighting. There's still a lot of good we can do out in the world, and we know where we want to go."

"Giles talked to us some before he left, and convinced us..." Willow continued. "We're going to the Hellmouth in Cleveland." She smiled and then grabbed a hold of Kennedy's hand and squeezed tightly.

There was a beat of silence at the table as that thought processed through everyone's mind. "Wow, Will..." Buffy began. "That's...that's really..."

"That's really great," Xander finished, a smile on his face. "I'm going to miss you two."

"Well, you'll have to come visit," Willow suggested. "A lot...like every weekend." _Maybe move out there with us, because I can't imagine my life without my best friend. _

"Wow," Dawn whispered, having never really thought that her life after Sunnydale might not include everyone she had grown up with. "I'm going to miss you guys, too."

Andrew looked at everyone and sniffed. "I think I'm gonna cry."

Everyone at the table rolled their eyes.

"Ooh, look, our appetizers are here," Andrew said joyfully, placing his napkin in his lap and reaching over the table for the ketchup.

"Blooming onion?" The waiter asked, holding up the fried onion.

"Me," Andrew announced before the waiter placed all the other dishes down and left the gang to their food.

Andrew reached for the bottle of ketchup at the end of the table and drizzled the sauce over the fried onion peels. He pulled apart a piece of the fried onion and smiled, saying, "Wow, these things are just great." He stuffed it in his mouth before continuing to speak. "Y'know who else loved these?"

__

No, no, Dawn thought. _Don't say his name, you little twerp._

"Spike absolutely loved these," Andrew continued. "He told me how they made them and said he loved them and..." he looked around the table, noticing Dawn dragging her index finger across her throat and glaring at him next to Willow's wide eyed expression. "Woops," he whispered.

"Yeah, Spike really loved those," Buffy whispered, a tear falling down her cheek. It was the first time that anyone had spoken about Spike in a normal tone, as if he wasn't head. Buffy remembered that whenever she had seen Spike at the Bronze he was always complaining about their flowering onions, or sometimes, the lack of them. 

And suddenly, she couldn't stop the tears. Buffy's burst out crying, holding her head down and trying to hide from her friends as she openly sobbed over her lost lover. 

"Oh God, Buffy," Dawn whispered, leaning over and hugging her sister. "I'm so sorry." Dawn rocked Buffy back and forth as her sister hung onto her tightly. 

Inside, Buffy was in turmoil. She felt dead inside -- more dead right now than a year ago when she was actually yearning for death once more. Buffy knew that she had lost Spike permanently . There was no returning for that type of death she had witnessed, and it was futile to give herself ideas of hope. 

No, she had lost him -- forever.

And when it truly sunk in that she had lost Spike for good, an important part of her inside gave up. 

~~~ 

Although Spike made a speedy recovery that surprised even the doctors, it was still almost another week before he was released from the hospital with strict orders to rest at home and continue to heal.   
  
During the course of the week Spike spent in the hospital, Angel, along with the help from Wolfram and Hart, bought Spike a place to live near the rest of the crew, created ID and the necessary papers to make him legal in the US, and established a small bank account to help Spike get on his way. 

The first day in his new apartment, Spike felt miserable. He was now living in an alien surrounding and had to deal with the new ways of being human -- which meant no more smoking, for one thing. 

However, a couple days passed and he quickly adapted to living. Spike actually began enjoying his life, and it wasn't long before he was actively up and about, taking small walks and enjoying the fact that he was in the sunlight for the first time in over a hundred years. 

Everything would have been perfect in his life if it weren't for that one empty space in his heart -- that place he knew was still dead inside. 

Buffy. 

God, how he missed her. 

He missed her strength, her voice, her presence, fighting along side her, and being with her every chance he could be. Even though he was overcome with joy and pride that they had beaten the First and Buffy and her friends were out there *somewhere*, Spike was beginning to lose hope of ever finding her again. 

~~~

The first day he was feeling strong enough to make the trip and back, Spike headed out to Wolfram and Hart, intent on finding answers and his Slayer. 

Spike walked into the law firm, staring in awe at the massive building. _Well, I hate to admit it, but I must say that the Poof has gone up in taste now that he's working for the black hats_, he thought, walking up to the front desk. 

"Good afternoon," a young, brown haired woman in glasses greeted him.

"Hello, love. I'm here to see Pea -- Angel," Spike said to the main receptionist.

"Do you have an appointment?" she requested.

Spike raised his eyebrows, staring at her in disbelief. "You need an appointment to see the great Poo-Bah, now, do you?"

"Sir, if you don't have an appointment for Mr. Angel, I'm just going to have to ask you to leave, so--"

"Why don't you just tell *Mr. Angel* that Spike is here to see him," he suggested.

At hearing his name, the receptionist's eyes widened and she looked at him apologetically. "Oh, my apologies sir. Mr. Angel said that you might be stopping by sometime later this week...we just weren't expecting you so soon."

"That's quite alright, ducks," Spike replied. "Can you just tell me where I can find him?"

"Sure. It's on the tenth floor, room 10-15," she informed him. 

"Thanks."

Spike headed towards the elevator and hit the "10" button on the side of the wall. _Damn, this place is quite posh_, Spike thought to himself as the elevator rose. _Angel's probably just loving all of this_.

A few seconds later, Spike stood outside Angel's door, knocking on the door for a few seconds. 

"Come in," he heard a voice call out from inside.

Spike pushed open the door and stepped inside, squinting at the bright sunlight filtering inside the room. "Bloody hell, peaches...you do realize it's noon outside?" 

Angel chuckled, and stood up from his chair, saying, "It's alright, Spike, I'm safe inside."

"How is this possible?" Spike asked as he stepped inside and walked up to the windows. 

"Special glass, allows me to be in sunlight without burning. It's all around the firm," Angel explained. "I was wondering when you might show up here. Are you feeling better?"

Spike grimaced, rubbing his side. "Still healing...sore in some areas, but better."

Angel walked around his desk and leaned against the front of it as Spike sat down in one of the chairs that faced Angel. "So, what are you doing here, Spike?"

"Look, I appreciate everything you've done for me," Spike began. "Thanks."

"No problem," Angel assured him. He smirked before adding, "See? Wasn't so hard to thank me after all, was it?"

Spike chuckled. "Anyway, I'm better now...think it's time for me to push off."

"Push off?"

"To find Buffy," Spike explained. "I've got to find her. Tell her that I..." he faltered and looked away from Angel. "Look, I need to find her."

"Spike...I -- I don't think that's a good idea right now," Angel began. 

"Why not?"

"I just...I think that --"

Before Angel could get another word in, Fred and Wesley barged into his office, both with wide eyes and worried expressions. "Angel!" Fred cried out.

"What is it?" Angel asked, standing up. 

"There's an emergency. Some kids over on Sunset got trapped in the sewers with a nest of vampires and some type of demon that I can't pronounce, and...oh, hey Spike," Fred greeted, waving her hand in Spike's direction.

"G'afternoon, pet," Spike answered, giving her a slight, faint smile.

During the week that Spike was healing at home, Fred visited him nearly every day. She helped him get reacquainted with the human world, introduced him into new foods, and gave him tips on surviving in LA. Spike liked her bubbly attitude and tendencies to babble on. She reminded him of Willow, especially when she babbled. 

While Fred had been keeping herself busy by helping Spike, Wesley had also been busy by helping Spike find more out about the Prophecy. He and Lilah had spent time translating more of the prophecy and came to the conclusion that the prophecy was indeed meant for Spike. 

"How are you?" Wesley asked.

"Feeling pretty damn good," Spike explained. "Yourself?"

"Oh, quite alright." Wesley replied. "Anyway, Angel...we could really use your help."

"Sure, I'm on it," Angel assured him, beginning to leave the room. "Just call Gunn and we'll head out."

Fred shook her head, a frown marring her beautiful features. "Sorry, Angel...he's with that woman, or...at least that's where I last saw him, anyway." 

"Okay, then we'll manage this by ourselves."

The three started leaving the room, pausing only when Spike cried out a "Hey! Wait just one second."

"What?" Angel asked. "Look, we'll talk when I get back."

"No, we're not done here. I told you, I'm going to find Buffy," Spike explained for the second time. "Not one of the Scoobies has tried to contact you all since I got here and I'm not just going to wait around while Buffy is out there, possibly alone, facing God knows what now."

"Fine, so what do you propose to do about that?" Angel asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "You think you're going to have better luck than the trained staff here that are also trying to find her?"

"I don't care, I'll find her somehow. All I want to do is leave," Spike said. "I want to go out there and find Buffy. I know I can."

Wesley and Fred looked at each other for a second, both wondering who should break up the argument. Finally, Fred spoke up. "I hate to interrupt, but...shouldn't we get out there? I mean, we can talk about this when we get back."

Spike let out a sarcastic chuckle and stood up. "Like hell we can. I'm going with you, I'll talk to the poof on the way there."

~~~

Spike and Angel led the group of four through the sewers, occasionally arguing together. Fred and Wesley walked a few feet behind them, rolling their eyes and sighing at the two men's childish behavior. 

"Look, Peaches, I'm not a bloody child," Spike cried out. "I can stand on my own two feet and survive in the world. I have been for over a hundred years."

"Yeah, but...we don't even know everything about the prophecy yet," Angel countered. "What if something goes wrong with you? What if this isn't permanent? We're the only ones that know anything about how to help you."

"If you want to *help* me, then you'll let me go," Spike said. When Angel didn't reply, he threw his arms up in the air and stormed away. "Pfft! What the hell am I arguing with you about, anyway? I should just leave and not tell you lot about it."

"Spike," Fred began.

"All I want to do is leave, go find Buffy...maybe see if she meant what she said, and if she does...well, I never thought I'd get a second chance, but it looks like I might after all," Spike explained.

"Spike..." Fred repeated, this time with Wesley saying his name.

"But Spike..." Angel began. "Look, can we just talk about this when we get back to the -- *duck*!"

Spike reacted in instinct and dropped to his knees as Angel swung his sword where his head had once been. Spike heard the distinct sound of a vampire turning into dust and quickly spun around, his eyes wide with surprise. He still wasn't used to not being able to sense other vampires around him, one of the qualities he lacked being human.

He rolled out of the way and stood back up on his feet. "Thanks for the warning, Peaches," he said.

"Can you stop with the nicknames?" Angel asked as he punched and kicked a vampire before grabbing onto him and staking it. 

Fred and Wesley ran ahead, holding out their weapons in hand. Fred began untying the hostages, helping them to their feet and telling them which direction to escape from the danger. Meanwhile, Wesley continued to run past the group of humans held hostage and approached the Trepchak demon that was leading the vampires. Wesley swung the sword in front of him, causing the demon to jump back, growling as he did so. 

Angel staked another vampire before turning and looking at the demon that Wesley was fighting. "You able?" he asked Spike. 

Spike seemed to struggle for a second, quickly ducking before rising and punching one of the vampires in the face. "Trying...it's been a while since I've done this, mate." He staked the last vampire in front of him, before nodding. "Think so."

"Then help me."

While Spike and Angel had been killing vampires, Wesley had been trying his best to kill the demon. However, it became apparent that the Trepchak demon was stronger than Wesley was when he was thrown against the wall and his sword was kicked out of his reach. Wes shook his head, momentarily stunned, before struggling to climb back onto his feet and find his weapon. The Trepchak demon took advantage of Wesley being defenseless for the moment and began nearing the ex-Watcher, determined to kill the man who had interrupted his plans.

Spike and Angel ran up to the Trepchak demon just in the nick of time. Angel threw his sword at the demon where it flew into its side. Their goal was to get it away from Wesley and keep it distracted. 

"Wesley, are you okay?" Fred asked, running up to him and bending down to help him stand. 

"Yeah, I'm...well, I'll live," Wesley tried to assure her.

Wesley and Fred watched as Angel and Spike worked together to try to behead the demon. Angel had the upper hand for a second before the Trepchak demon stretched out his hand and struck the vampire, sending him flying to the other end of the sewers.

Spike stood alone in front of the demon, in a fighting stance, although very nervous. He was very aware that he was just human now, and if Angel couldn't defeat him, he didn't stand a chance. However, he was in the fight and would try his best. "Well, c'mon then, haven't got all day."

The Trepchak demon took a step forward and lashed out at Spike. Spike immediately jumped back and turned around, trying to avoid being hit. 

But he moved a second too late. 

The demon hit him in the gut, forcing Spike to keel over for a second. 

"Bloody hell," he muttered. _Wait...shouldn't that have hurt more than it did?_ he asked himself in surprise. 

Taking a deep breath, Spike stood up and faced the demon. Then, in a sudden rush of adrenaline, he jumped up and kicked the demon, sending him to the floor. Spike followed through with several blows in the face, before picking him up and throwing him against the wall. He picked up the sword that Wesley had held only minutes earlier and threw it at the demon's head, where it struck in between his eyes.

Spike stood there, breathing heavily for a second, before he realized what he had done. "Hey!" He turned and looked at Wesley. "I've still got strength! I can still fight...and...I don't get hurt as easily."

Whatever had happened to him had left him with vampiric strength and healing.

And Spike genuinely smiled for the first time in weeks.

~~~

"Well, I don't know about you, but I had fun," Spike announced as he walked back into Angel's office. He lay the sword out on the desk and plopped down in a chair with a smirk on his features. 

"Yes, just bunches of fun," Wesley replied sarcastically, groaning as he leaned against the wall behind him. He massaged his neck, hearing it crack and knew that it would feel sore tomorrow morning. 

"Got some other nasties out there we can beat up around here?" Spike excitedly asked Fred. "C'mon, there's gotta be something else out there, it's LA."

"So, you actually enjoyed that, did you?" Angel asked, hearing Spike's excited tone. 

"Bloody right I did," Spike agreed. "I can't believe you blokes get paid to do this type of stuff, and by Black Hats, no less." Then, taking a second to get serious about what just happened in the sewers, he turned to Wesley. "Did you find anything in that Prophecy stating that I would still have my strength and healing capabilities?"

Wesley shook his head. "Not yet. Honestly, I thought that you were just a normal human being, like me." He thought back to what he had seen for a second before shrugging his shoulders. "Obviously, we were wrong."

Spike turned around to face Angel. "So, back to what we were talking about before -- does Buffy know that you all are stationed here now? Because last most of us heard, you were at the Hotel."

"No," He replied. "We were hoping she'd call before we moved office and terminated our phone line, but she never did. We lost contact with her, and unless she finds us, there's a good chance we won't ever find her."

Spike nodded, taking a second to think things over. 

He figured there were two options right now. One, he could stay with Angel, get paid to help fight what was out there, and find more about the Prophecy that pertained to him. Or two, he could leave and go blindly searching all over the country to find Buffy. _God knows where she is right now_, Spike thought. 

Maybe, though, given some time, Buffy would come back. After all, she still had ties in LA; her father and Angel both lived here.

Maybe she'd come to LA with Dawn and find him here -- alive, and waiting for her. Yes, maybe that's what would happen if Spike stayed right where he was.

But maybe she wouldn't come back...maybe she had already settled down somewhere in a small town that actually wasn't located on top of the Hellmouth and she didn't have to fight vampires any longer.

There were too many "maybe"s.

"Does she have any reason to actually come back to LA and try to find you?" Spike asked Angel, trying to figure out what to do.

"Well..." Angel began, thinking back to the conversation he and Buffy had. She said she needed time to become the real woman inside, and that she needed to do it alone -- she needed to figure out the "real me," as she had put it. But perhaps within the year, she'd come back to LA and decide she wanted *him,* not the bleach-haired ex-vampire standing in front of him -- that's what Angel hoped, anyway. "I think she'd come back."

"Then...maybe I should stay here for a little time," Spike suggested. "I could earn me a living, no pun intended, get English here to figure out that prophecy about little ol' me, and...Buffy will come back."

"That sounds like a good idea, Spike," Angel agreed.

"Great!" Fred exclaimed. "So, I'll go get Spike on the pay roll, okay?" She turned and walked out of the office after smiling at Spike.

"Welcome to Wolfram and Hart, William," Angel said, smirking at Spike's birth name.

"Thanks ever so much, *Liam*."

Wesley rolled his eyes and softly groaned. _God, they're worse than five year olds when they're together...they're even worse than Angel and Xander's never ending banter._

"C'mon, I'll show you around," Angel suggested, leading Spike towards the hallway.

As Spike walked around the offices, he knew that this would be a good gig for the time being, and even said so to Angel. However, what Spike didn't tell Angel was that while he helped fight the forces of darkness at Wolfram and Hart, he would also continue searching for Buffy. He'd get on the Net, search around for her name on credit cards, checks, newspapers. He'd get people to go out and try to find her -- anything that might help him find his way back to her. 

And the second Spike found her, he'd be out of LA in a heartbeat.

So, even though Spike decided to help Angel, his main priority, as always, would be to Buffy. He'd find her, all it would take was some time.

And nothing would make him give up that hope. 

~~~

TBC...

Hmm...I don't know how I felt about this part. I think the writer's block has come back and the muse left for the Bahamas b/c this part was really hard to write for some reason...maybe it's the fight scene -- that's always been my weakness.

Anyway, this is the last part that will take place in the present-day time. I just wanted to have one more Buffy scene and then this whole part just went everywhere. In the next part, we jump five years ahead into the future and find out what everyone has been up to! Please leave a review if you wish :)


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